


caught up in a rush

by katieelle



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Degradation, Dom Michael, M/M, Michael is clueless, Riding Crops, Subdrop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katieelle/pseuds/katieelle
Summary: Jeremy wants to try something new for his birthday. Michael will do anything to make him happy, but things don't always go to plan.





	caught up in a rush

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the song the other side if paradise by glass animals. also a good song, listen to it

Jeremy’s birthday was coming up soon and Michael still didn’t know what to get him. Usually, he went with a new video game, but that’s what he got him every year and it was getting kind of old. “Hey, Jer,” Michael said, talking over the movie that was playing on the TV in Michael’s basement. “What do you want for your birthday?”

Jeremy was spread out on the couch with his head in Michael’s lap, and he turned his head to the side to look up at him. “If I tell you what I want, then I’ll know what you’re getting me. That defeats the whole purpose.” 

Always so difficult. “Come on, I don’t know what to get!” Jeremy sighed, looking away from Michael again. His cheeks turned red and he chewed on his bottom lip, like he was trying to hold himself back from saying something. “What’re you thinking?” Michael urged, poking his side. 

The brunet squirmed away, failing to bite back a smile. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Nope,” Michael protested. “It’s definitely something. And I am going to worry about it.”

“You’ll think I’m weird.”

“I already think you’re weird.”

Jeremy reached up and gently slapped Michael’s arm, who was laughing ridiculously hard at his own joke. “Seriously, though, you swear you won’t laugh at me or something?” 

What the hell could he be getting at? “I swear.” He hoped he could keep his promise, because he’d be a total asshole if he  _ did  _ accidentally start laughing. 

“Have you heard of...like...bdsm?” 

Jeremy’s voice was weak and quiet, barely above a whisper. The phrase rung a bell, like Michael had heard or seen it somewhere, but he couldn’t remember where or what it meant. “What, is that like, big dogs small...m-dogs?” Instead of Jeremy’s cheeks turning red this time, the color drained from his face, leaving him looking even more pale than usual. 

“Just forget it.”

“Jer, I’m sorry!” Michael said apologetically. He really was an asshole. “Seriously. Sorry. Explain it to me, babe?” 

He seemed to hesitate, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it right afterwards. Jeremy took another deep breath while Michael grew more impatient. It couldn’t be  _ that  _ bad, so why was he so worried? “It’s like...bondage and dominance and stuff.” 

Even more quiet than before, Michael could barely hear him.  _ Barely.  _ “What, so you just want to tie me up while we have sex, or something?” 

“God, no, it’s...it’s more than that.” Jeremy struggled to find the right words, but thankfully, Michael wasn’t feeling impatient anymore. No, now he was  _ intrigued.  _ “I want  _ you  _ to tie  _ me  _ up. And I don’t want to  _ have sex  _ with you, I want you to  _ fuck  _ me.” 

“Jer, you’re confusing me,” Michael said, trying to take in everything he was saying. “So...you want me to tie you up, and then we have sex?”

“You’re not  _ getting  _ it,” Jeremy complained. And he was right, but Michael was determined to wrap his head around what he was trying to say. “You know I love you and you know I love our sex, but I need more, Micah. I need you to be  _ demanding  _ and  _ rough  _ and  _ dirty.  _ I need you to say things like  _ fuck  _ and  _ slut. I need it to hurt.”  _

Each word sent chills down Michael’s spine and he finally understood. The idea of it made his brain short-circuit and he was left speechless. The only problem was that he didn’t know if he could actually go through with it. “Okay, I get it now, Jer. And you’re not weird at all, it sounds...hot.” He paused, biting his tongue. “And I want to make you happy, but I’m scared I’m going to actually hurt you.” 

“It’s fine,” Jeremy said, but he couldn’t fully mask his disappointment. “I can live without it if you don’t want to.” 

“I do, trust me, I do,” Michael blurted. “I just need to be sure that you’re sure.”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

Michael contemplated it for a few moments. As long as he’s careful and they’re safe, it’ll be fine. If he went too far, Jeremy would tell him. They could trust each other like that. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it,” Michael said, letting out a deep breath. And it couldn’t hurt to get things started, so he summoned his courage and his most demanding voice. “By the way, since we’re doing this, don’t touch yourself until your birthday. And we’re not going to--” he cut himself off before he could say the wrong thing. “I mean, I’m not going to  _ fuck  _ you until your birthday.” 

Michael didn’t swear too often, so the word tasted sour on his tongue. Jeremy’s eyes went wide. “My birthday is a whole week away. We’re supposed to be celibate for  _ that long?”  _

“You asked for this, babe,” Michael reminded him. “Besides, that’s not even that long.” Michael’s breath hitched as he came up with something else to say. The thought of saying it out loud made his stomach twist, in a good way. “But I guess that must feel like forever to a  _ slut  _ like you.”

Jeremy audibly gasped, making a sense of pride swell up from within Michael’s chest. “Thanks, Michael. Seriously. For not making me feel weird about this.” 

“You can tell me anything, okay?” Michael leaned down, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. “I can’t wait until your birthday.” 

-

Michael was lost in a hardware store. 

He needed rope. One of the things Jeremy mentioned was being tied up, so he needed to hunt down some...tools before his birthday. The thing was, the only rope they had in Lowe’s was scratchy and rough and would probably leave his wrists raw by the time they were done. 

There was an employee walking past and Michael decided to step up and ask for some help. “Excuse me,” he said, and she stopped in her tracks. “Um, do you have any rope like this, but softer?” 

She blinked at him, eyebrows furrowed together.  _ Abort mission abort mission abort mission.  _ “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean. What do you need it for?”

“Arts and crafts.” 

“Do you mean...like yarn? Are you looking for yarn?” 

Michael was not about to tell her what he really needed it for, and yarn was definitely not going to do the trick, but he went along with it anyways just to get himself out of that god-awful situation. “Yeah,” he said with a nod and a friendly smile. 

“You might want to check A.C Moore.” 

He stepped outside of the store and dialed the number of the only person he knew could help. “Hey, Rich,” he said when the line clicked and Rich picked up. “So, I need your help with something.”

“What is it?”

“You know how you got a fake ID and when we asked who it was from, you ominously said you knew a guy? Well, I need to know who that guy is.”

He figured he could just find whatever he needed at the sketchy sex store in the center of town, but he was pretty sure he had to be 18 to buy stuff from there. And of course, he was just two months off. 

“Wow, Michael, what are you planning on doing? Are you turning into a  _ badass? _ ”

“No, no, I just...I just need it to buy some beer.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll use mine to get it and you can pay me back. What kind you want?”

Oh,  _ goddammit.  _ He just couldn’t win. “I lied. I need it because I want to buy...a vibrator.” He thought at first that saying vibrator would be a lot easier to explain than ‘bdsm equipment,’ but hearing himself say it, he sounded  _ actually  _ crazy. 

“TMI, Michael,” Rich said. “I mean, I can help you get the ID, but wouldn’t it just be easier to order it online anyways?”

“No, because it wouldn’t come in time!”

As soon as the words slipped from his mouth, he realized that he had made a fatal mistake. Rich went silent and Michael considered hanging up the phone and pretending like the call never happened. “Ohhh!” Rich sighed, realization dawning. “For Jeremy’s birthday! Why are you wasting money on a vibrator when you have a perfectly good dick?” 

Michael had already gone too far and apparently, he wasn’t any good at keeping secrets. Might as well just go all the way because he knows if he keeps trying to lie it’ll just make things worse. “Look, I’m not getting a vibrator. I need a lot more than a vibrator.” Michael forgot he was still in public until a woman walked passed and gave him a nasty look. He made sure to quiet his voice. “If he finds out I told you this, you’re so dead. But he wants to try like...kinky shit. Like with ropes and gags and handcuffs.” 

“Well why didn’t you just say so?”

“Sorry, Rich, but I really didn’t feel like exposing my boyfriend and I’s sex habits to you.” 

“Forget the fake ID, okay?” Rich said. “I’m 18, I’ll come with you. You pick out whatever you need and I’ll pay for it. You pay me back. Easy peasy.”

“No, no way,” Michael stammered. “There’s no way you’re going to help me pick out kinky sex stuff for my boyfriend.”

“Oh, come on, I might be able to help you.”

_ Wait, what _ ? Was Michael interpreting that right, or was he just losing it? “Are you implying that you and Jake…”

“Yeah, dude,” Rich confirmed. “Totally open to trying new things.” 

Maybe Rich really could help. To be fair, Michael had no clue what he was doing and Rich coming with him would be a lot easier than going through the trouble of getting a fake ID. “Alright, fine, you can come.” 

“I’ll meet you there in 15.” 

Even from the outside, the store looked incredibly intimidating. The windows were tinted and the bricks it was constructed from were cracked and discolored. Having Rich come along was actually a pretty good idea because there was no way Michael could have walked into that store alone. “God, I’m scared,” Michael said as he approached Rich, who was waiting for him by the door. 

“This is why you order stuff online.”

“I didn’t find out until yesterday this was what he wanted, give me a break!” 

“Let’s just get this over with.” 

The store was even worse on the inside. When they stepped in, a bell over the door rang, alerting the employee that there were customers coming in. She barely looked up from the computer by the cash register, which Michael was pretty grateful for. He probably would have died on the spot if someone started asking him what he was looking for. 

There was a whole wall of shelves dedicated to vibrators. Not exactly what he was looking for, but maybe he’d have to get one sometime. He headed towards the back of store, letting Rich lead the way. They stopped in front of a display of restraints, including handcuffs, ties, and a...spreader bar? Whatever the hell  _ that  _ meant. 

“So...here we are,” Rich said, eyes gazing at the different options. “Are you going to stare, or are you going to pick something out?” 

“I don’t even know where to start, you said you would help,” Michael said. 

Rich sighed and grabbed a simple restraint system that Michael hadn’t seen. It had four soft cuffs attached to long restraints that could be tied around anything, and it came with a blindfold, too. “Like this?” Rich asked, holding it up. 

Michael grabbed it from his hands. “Yeah, this’ll work. What else do I need?” 

“I don’t know, Michael! What do you want?” 

Honestly, Michael didn’t even know what he wanted. “H-he said,” Michael stuttered, his mouth going dry as he lowered his voice. “He said that he wanted it to hurt.” 

“ _ Jeremy  _ said that?  _ The  _ Jeremy Heere?” Michael nodded. “Now  _ that  _ is unexpected.” 

“I shouldn’t even be telling you this,” Michael said, looking away. If Jeremy knew he was telling this to Rich, he’d kill him. “I just...I just want to do it right, okay?” 

“God, Michael, you’re blushing so hard right now.” He was right, Michael could clearly feel the redness of his cheeks burning up under his skin. “What are you so embarrassed for?"

Michael took a deep breath. “I feel really weird talking to you about this stuff, okay? And I feel bad telling you this stuff about Jeremy because it’s  _ personal.  _ And I don’t know what  _ fucking  _ handcuffs to buy!” His voice grew louder involuntarily to the point where he was sure the employee could hear him. If she could, she appeared unphased. 

“Michael, this is exactly why you need to talk to me about this stuff. Because clearly, you have no fucking clue what you’re doing! It’s about more than just the handcuffs and the gags and the blindfolds, alright?” Michael gulped, seeing how...passionate he seemed about this. But he listened in intently, for Jeremy. “It’s about...your attitude. It’s about helping him let go. All of this stuff,” he said, motioning to the walls of items around him. “It’s just extra. It can help you, but you don’t really  _ need it.” _

Michael thought back to what he said when Jeremy first told him what he wanted. “I told him he couldn’t -- god, this is so weird saying it to you -- I told him he couldn’t c-come, until his birthday.” 

“Good, that’s a good start, okay?” Rich seemed to relax a little bit. “You know, I can’t really tell you  _ how  _ to do this. You just have to do what feels right, and what you’re both comfortable with. Is this making more sense?” 

“Y-yeah, I think so. Thanks. I’m still going to get these tie thingys though, because he  _ definitely  _ said he wants to be tied up.” 

“Anything else specific he said he wanted?” 

He thought back to their conversation, trying to remember what Jeremy had said. “I don’t think so. Just that he wanted me to be more...dirty. And demanding. That kind of stuff.” 

“I wouldn’t get much else then, unless you see something you really like. Do you? See anything else I mean?” 

Michael glanced around, looking for anything that piqued his interest. His eyes stopped on a long rod with a heart-shaped piece of leather at the end. “What’s this?” he asked, eyes wide as he turned it over in his hands. It was lighter than he expected. 

“That’s a crop,” Rich answered, eyebrows raised. He continued when he saw that there was still confusion in Michael’s expression as he stared at the implement. “You hit people with it. It can be fun, but you have to be careful how hard you’re doing it because it stings like a bitch.” 

Michael choked back a gasp. He could picture it, Jeremy’s whines when the leather met his skin. His skin was so pale, it would leave marks so easily. Pretty, pink marks in the shape of hearts.  _ Jesus Christ.  _ “Yeah. This. I want this.” 

Rich picked up on his eagerness, but he didn’t comment on it. “Alright. Is that all? You want a gag? I mean, Jake likes being gagged sometimes--”

“No,” Michael cut him off. “I think I’d like it more if I could hear him.” 

Rich paid for everything, while Michael stepped outside to count out how much money he needed to pay him back. It took Rich longer than expected to emerge from the store, but when he did, he was carrying three bags. Michael handed over the money to cover the cost and Rich handed him one of the bags. “What are the other bags?” 

“Just...stuff for me and Jake.”

Michael didn’t ask any further questions, but he did catch a glimpse of what appeared to be black lace underwear in one of the bags. He smirked to himself. “Uh, thanks again, Rich. Is there anything else I should know?”

“Make sure you have a safeword and make sure you’re both comfortable.”

“A safeword?”

“Yeah, like a word either of you could say that you normally wouldn’t say during sex if you need to stop.” 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Michael said. He made a mental note to ask Jeremy what word they should use. “Alright, thanks again. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?” 

“Good luck.”

Michael would need a lot more than luck if this was going to work out how he wanted it to. 

-

Thank god Jeremy’s birthday was on a Saturday. It was one of the few days where, for a period of a few hours, Michael had the house to himself because his parents were both at work. He texted Jeremy, letting him know to come over and come straight down to the basement. Michael took his new purchases out of the packaging, already feeling excitement swell up from within his chest. 

The straps with the cuffs felt pretty heavy, but they were soft and looked pretty easy to use. And then the...what did Rich call it? A crop? He lightly tapped the leather heart piece against his skin. That would definitely sting. 

He heard Jeremy open the door upstairs and he quickly threw a blanket over everything on his bed so Jeremy wouldn’t see right away. He still wanted it to be a surprise. The steady thud of Jeremy coming down the stairs filled the air, then Jeremy appears at the bottom of the staircase, grinning wide. “Happy birthday, babe,” Michael said, pulling him in for a hug that quickly turned into a kiss. “Got something for you.”

“Mmhm?” Jeremy hummed against his lips. “What is it?”

“Get on your knees and find out.”

Jeremy was surprised to hear the words come out of Michael’s mouth, but Michael was even more surprised. He had no idea where that came from, but he just did what Rich advised him to do. It was just a thought and it sounded right in his head, so he said it. When Jeremy’s breath hitched and he dropped to the floor, Michael felt a surge of... _ something  _ course through his veins. Power? Excitement? Passion? More like all three. 

“We need a safeword,” Michael said, circling around Jeremy like a hawk. “Something we wouldn’t normally say during sex. Any ideas?”

“Mountain Dew.” 

Michael stopped his pacing and cocked his head to the side, considering. “I don’t know if that’ll work.”

“Michael, are you implying that you might say Mountain Dew while we’re having sex?” Michael didn’t respond. “Michael! How often are you thinking about Mountain Dew when we’re having sex?!”

“I mean, I’m  _ not,  _ but it might slip out!” Jeremy let out a frustrated sigh. “Alright, fine, Mountain Dew it is,” Michael agreed. He stepped towards the bed, where his...equipment was waiting. “Close your eyes, Jer.” Jeremy’s eyes slammed shut on command. Michael picked up the blindfold and the crop before returning to where Jeremy waited on the floor. 

He carefully slipped the blindfold over Jeremy’s eyes, intrigued by the way his lips twitched when he felt the fabric slide down. “Okay,” Michael said, stepping back. He picked up the crop, trying to ignore the way his hands shook with anticipation as he held it. He looked back down at Jeremy, waiting patiently, completely clueless about what Michael was going to do to him. The feeling made Michael’s heart race.

He lightly dragged the tip of the crop down Jeremy’s shoulder, across his arm, over his chest, down to where his knees were resting on the floor. “Mikey, what is that?” Jeremy asked.  

Really, Michael didn’t have to tell him. He could have waited until Jeremy was bare and he felt a stinging slap, and  _ then  _ he would know. But that seemed too cruel. “It’s a crop.” He repeated the motion and even over Jeremy’s clothes, it had him breathing sharply at the gentle touch. 

“Mm, fuck, Michael,” Jeremy managed to say through ragged breaths. “God, that’s so hot.

“So it’s okay if I use it?” Michael asked, just to be sure.  _ Make sure you’re both comfortable _

“Please do,” Jeremy begged. 

Michael couldn’t stand any longer of having Jeremy in front of him like that with his clothes blocking the perfect view. “Arms up,” he commanded, pulling Jeremy’s shirt off when he complied. 

Michael paused, taking a few moments to run the crop over Jeremy’s now bare chest. He let the tip drag over his nipples and without the barrier of his shirt, Jeremy shivered under the touch. “On your back,” Michael ordered. Jeremy obeyed, leaning back until he was on the floor. Michael’s mind was racing, ideas flooding his head and blurring his thoughts. He grabbed the waistband of Jeremy’s jeans and pulled them down, tossing them to the side, followed by his boxers.

“God, you look so good like this,” Michael mumbled, taken aback by how  _ stunning _ Jeremy looked, naked except for the blindfold. “Still okay?”

Jeremy nodded eagerly. Starting at his neck, Michael slowly dragged the crop down the length of his body. Teasing at his nipples. Tracing the faint outline of his abs. Ghosting the material over his cock, which made Jeremy flinch and bite his lip. Of course, he wouldn’t hit him there, but the teasing touch would make Jeremy squirm  _ beautifully.  _ Michael’s mouth was dry. “Flip over,” he said. Jeremy did, exposing his back and his ass. “Remember when I told you not to touch yourself until today? Did you break that rule?”

There was a pause, Jeremy wasn’t answering. Michael couldn’t see his face because he had it buried in his arms. “Jer? Don’t lie to me.”

“Okay, I did. It was just once though!” Michael tsked, shaking his head even though Jeremy couldn’t see him. 

“Naughty boy,” Michael scolded. The confession made him wonder, made his mind drift to something else. What would Jeremy be touching himself to? Porn? Now, Michael wasn’t the type to consider porn cheating, but he did feel a little jealous at the thought of Jeremy getting off to another guy.  _ Do what feels right.  _ “Were you watching porn, Jeremy? My dick isn’t enough for you, huh?”

“Wasn’t,” Jeremy denied. “I was...I was thinking about this. Imagining what you might do.” 

_ Oh.  _ Michael chuckled softly at the thought. “What was I doing? In your fantasy, what was I doing?”

“You had me tied to the bed and you were fucking me. And you were calling me names while I was begging for more.  _ It was so good, Micah.  _ I was so hard, but you wouldn’t touch me and my arms were restrained so I couldn’t touch myself. I came untouched, I’ve never done that before, I can’t even  _ imagine  _ what it must feel like. But thinking about it, I couldn’t help myself. I  _ had  _ to.” 

_ Jeremy was in for the quite the treat.  _

“Baby, as  _ amazing  _ as that sounds…” Michael started, thinking of the right thing to say next. It seemed that Jeremy was pretty dead set on the idea of Michael calling him names. “You were still a disobedient little slut. And I can’t let that go so easily.” 

It didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like those words were really coming out of his mouth, but they  _ were  _ and it  _ was.  _ All of it was actually happening and Michael couldn’t seem to wrap his head around that. 

“Jeremy, promise you’ll tell me if this gets to be too much.”

“I promise.”

Michael took a deep breath, mentally and physically preparing himself for the next part. He traced the tip of the crop over Jeremy’s ass a few times, building up the anticipation, before lightly swatting down. Jeremy squeaked, but he barely flinched. Michael tried again on his other cheek, a little harder, and it made Jeremy flinch. “It’s okay, Micah, you can go harder.”

Michael hesitated, remembering what Rich had said about how bad it could sting. He didn’t want to disappoint Jeremy on his birthday, so he brought the crop down again, even harder. Jeremy moaned and writhed against the floor at the impact. “Just like that,” Jeremy said breathlessly. Michael tried again, putting the same force behind the swing as he did the previous time. The sound resonated through the room, and for a moment, Michael was concerned that he was doing it way too hard. However, Jeremy moaned again, subtly grinding his hips against the floor.

_ He was getting hard from this.  _

The realization hit Michael and he swallowed down a gasp. 

He was right, though, about the marks the crop would leave on Jeremy. It didn’t take much to color his skin, so the contrast between where the hits landed and the rest of his pale skin was sharp and clearly noticeable.  _ He was so pretty.  _

He started landing hits more quickly, in a pattern, alternating back and forth. Jeremy whined at each one, sticking his ass out to ask for more. It was absolutely  _ killing  _ Michael, how his muscles were tensed, the way his skin was changing to a rosy pink, how Jeremy could take so much and still be asking for more.

And all Michael could think was that they should have tried this a long time ago. 

“Can’t believe you’re getting off on this,” Michael chastised. “Come here, slut.” He dropped the crop to the floor and grabbed Jeremy’s hands, helping him to his feet so he was standing facing Michael. Michael brought a hand up to his cheek, gently running his thumb over the blushing skin there. 

“C-can we take the blindfold off?” Jeremy mumbled. “I wanna see you.” 

Most of the initial surprise was over with, so Michael agreed, slipping the fabric off of his eyes. Jeremy blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting, then he smiled. “You’re so hot like this, Mikey. Can’t believe this is really happening.”

Michael kissed him again, more roughly this time, letting his teeth drag over his bottom lip. He reached a hand down to grab Jeremy’s ass and was surprised to find that the skin there was still warm from the crop.  _ It would probably hurt to sit down.  _ Michael shivered against the kiss. “Go to the bed and get on all fours,” Michael ordered when he pulled back. While Jeremy followed his demand, Michael grabbed a bottle of lube from his bedside table.

Jeremy was on the center of the bed, facing the wall, supporting himself by his hands and knees and displaying his pretty pink ass. The sight made Michael want to come right there. 

Michael crawled up on the bed and dripped lube over his fingers, then some over Jeremy’s hole. “I had no idea,” Michael started to say, rubbing his index finger against Jeremy’s rim before gently pressing in. “That my baby boy was  _ such  _ a dirty whore.”

He heard Jeremy take in a sharp breath and Michael smirked. It was amazing, the way Jeremy responded just to Michael’s words. He wanted to try more, wanted to keep surprising him, but he felt like he was running out of things to say. 

He circled his finger around, opening him up little by little. “Am I right, Jeremy? Is that what you are?”

When Jeremy didn’t respond right away, Michael added in a second finger. Jeremy lurched forward in surprise, but then he was backing up, trying to take in more of Michael’s fingers. “You didn’t answer me yet, Jer,” Michael reminded him. 

“I’m s-sorry, what did you ask me?”

Michael tsked, shaking his head at him. “I asked if my baby boy is really just a dirty whore. Is that true, Jer?” Jeremy nodded frantically as Michael twisted his fingers, scissoring them back and forth. “Words, Jeremy, use your words. Or is that too difficult for a mindless little slut?”

“It’s true, Micah, I’m a dirty whore.  _ Your  _ whore.” Michael felt himself grow harder. 

Michael felt a wave of  _ something  _ hit him, the same  _ something  _ he had felt earlier, and landed a sharp slap on Jeremy’s ass. It was already pink before, but this time, the shape of a handprint was left in wake of the slap. It made Jeremy clench around Michael’s fingers and grit his teeth. 

He worked in a third finger, noticing the way Jeremy’s limbs began to shake as he struggled to hold himself up. He was almost ready, and soon, he wouldn’t have to worry about holding himself up. 

“Jeremy, in your pathetic little fantasy, remind me what is was that I did to you?” Michael remembered, of course, but he wanted to hear Jeremy say it again. 

“You tied me to the bed,” Jeremy answered. Michael smiled and nodded. As a reward for such a good answer, he curled his fingers up, pressing firmly against Jeremy’s prostate. The other boy cried out, grabbing fistfuls of the sheets. 

Michael swirled his fingers around a few more times and decided that Jeremy was good to go. “Lie down, on your back,” Michael demanded. Jeremy was eager to comply, wanting to know what else Michael had in store for him. Michael uncovered the restraints from where he had hidden them, and started tightening the cuffs around Jeremy’s wrists. 

“Michael, oh my god, I can’t  _ believe  _ this,” Jeremy said. “God, I love you. I love you so much.”

“Shh,” Michael hushed, trying to keep up the facade, but he couldn’t hide the grin on his face. He moved down to his ankles. “Are any of them too tight?” he asked. Jeremy shook his head no. Michael moved on to the next part, which was fastening each strap on the cuffs to the bedposts. He tied the fabric up one by one, until Jeremy was completely tied down, just as he had imagined. “How do they feel?”

Jeremy pulled against the restraints, testing his boundaries. His hands were tied up above his head and his legs were spread out, completely open and vulnerable. “Perfect. This is so perfect, Michael.” 

Michael positioned himself on the bed so he was leaning over Jeremy, hands pressing down on his shoulders, their faces so close together. “Do you want me to  _ fuck  _ you?”

Jeremy loved hearing that word in Michael’s voice. It made him shudder, tugging lightly at the ties. “Yes, fuck me, Michael.” 

And  _ that  _ was the prettiest thing Michael had ever heard. He wanted to hear it again, he wanted to hear it over and over. “You’re doing to have to ask nicely,” Michael said, making Jeremy whine.

“Please, please fuck me, Mikey. I need it, need you to fuck me, need you to use me,” he rambled, keeping eye contact with Michael the whole time. 

“Oh? You want to be  _ used?”  _ Michael prodded, a deadly grin on his lips. “My little slut wants to be  _ used.”  _ It wasn’t even something he had considered he could say, but then Jeremy brought it up and Michael loved how it sounded. 

“ _ Yes,  _ Mikey,  _ used.  _ Wanna be used by your big cock, baby.” 

That was enough for Michael, not that he could wait much longer even if he wanted to. He was out of his jeans and boxers in record time, his shirt following soon after. He slicked himself up with lube and pushed his tip into Jeremy’s entrance, watching as the boy writhed against the bed at even the slightest pressure. 

Michael continued to push in until he was fully seated and they both let out a breathy moan. It felt weird, at first, not having Jeremy grabbing onto his back or his shoulders. Having Jeremy completely pliable beneath him. But it was  _ good  _ weird, something different that they weren’t used to. 

Michael teasingly rocked his hips, moving just slightly. Jeremy closed his eyes, long lashes fluttering on his cheeks, and he breathed deeply, waiting patiently for Michael to pick up the pace. Michael moved slowly again, rolling his hips out and back in, making Jeremy squirm as much as he could with his limbs tied down. “Micah…” Jeremy whined. 

“Hmm? What do you need?” Michael asked, even though he knew  _ exactly  _ what he needed. 

“Need you to go faster, please. Need it harder.” 

His voice was quiet and needy. “What? Having my dick in you isn’t enough? You need me to  _ pound  _ you?” 

He felt and saw Jeremy shudder, tightening around him. “God, yes,  _ please.  _ Need it so bad, Micah,” Jeremy pleaded again. His cock was still hard against his chest, left ignored. 

Michael gave him what he so desperately needed, slamming his hips into him with an amount of force that he didn’t even know he had. It drew a long, loud moan from Jeremy’s lips, and Michael was really glad he hadn’t gone with the ball gag. Michael leaned down to kiss him, swallowing one of his moans. He noticed that Jeremy instinctively tried to bring a hand to the back of Michael’s head to pull him deeper into the kiss, but because of the restraints, he was stopped. 

When Michael pulled back from the kiss, he continued slamming into him. He was determined to work him up enough that he could come untouched. It was part of what he had wanted, and although it had never happened before, Michael wanted to deliver everything he asked for. He purposely avoided hitting Jeremy’s prostate, for now at least. That would come soon. “Bet this was all you were thinking about all week,” Michael said. “Just couldn’t wait for me to tie you down and fuck you into the mattress.” 

“God, yes,” Jeremy confirmed, biting his lip. “I’ve wanted it for so long.”

“Of fucking course you did, you’re a  _ slut.  _ You just can’t take your mind off of getting fucked.” 

Jeremy’s cock was leaking precome against his abdomen and Michael knew he was getting close. “Getting close, Mikey. Touch me, please?” 

“Not gonna touch your filthy cock,” Michael scoffed. “You’re going to come just from this or you won’t come at all.” 

Jeremy whined again, back arching off of the mattress. “Mikey, I don’t know if I can. Need you to touch me.” 

“You can do it, Jer,” Michael assured him. He switched up his angle, this time hitting his prostate perfectly. He was so close, Michael could tell by the way he slammed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. “Open your eyes, look at me,” Michael ordered, and Jeremy followed. Looking up at Michael, Jeremy came with a shout, leaving a mess on his chest. 

Michael followed soon after, the sight of Jeremy coming without being touched pushing him over the edge. In the aftermath, both of them coming down from their high, Michael saw the pool of come on Jeremy’s chest and got an idea. A sick, twisted, dirty idea. He ran a finger through the come and brought it up to Jeremy’s lips. “Suck,” he ordered, and Jeremy obeyed, opening his mouth and taking in his finger to lick it clean. 

Michael grabbed a towel and wiped Jeremy clean after that, tossing it away. He slowly undid the restraints and Jeremy flexed his wrists once he was free. He stretched out, loosening up his tight muscles. “I think…” Michael started, crawling into bed next to Jeremy. “I think we should do that more often.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jeremy agreed, still trying to catch his breath. Both exhausted, they curled up together for a nap, but the sound of a car pulling up startled them both. 

“Fuck!” Michael yelled, jumping up. He threw everything under his bed and raced to get dressed, then helped Jeremy, who was still relatively weak, put his clothes back on. He glanced around the room, but didn’t see anything else that looked suspicious. 

“Michael?” he heard his mom call from upstairs. 

“Uh, yeah?” he called back. 

“I’m so stupid, I completely forgot I switched shifts with Emily. I went in to work for no reason!” she laughed at herself, then started coming downstairs. “Oh, hey Jeremy,” she said, reaching the bottom of the steps. “You wanna get a pizza or something?”

“Yeah, pizza,” Michael said awkwardly. He could feel how pale his face had gone and he really hoped his mom didn’t notice. “Pizza sounds good. Right, Jeremy?”

“Actually…” Jeremy said. “I’m not feeling that great. I think I might just go home.” 

“Jeremy, wait!” Michael said, as Jeremy was already heading for the staircase. “But it’s your birthday. Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I just...really don’t feel good.” 

Michael stood in the center of the room, hopeless and disappointed, as he watched Jeremy walk upstairs. Of fucking course, everything he did had to be messed up somehow. He felt like utter shit, like he had somehow ruined Jeremy’s 18th birthday. He wanted to kick something, or scream or cry, but he didn’t. “On second thought, I’m not very hungry.”

-

It was Monday and Michael was back at school, sitting at his lunch table alone with a slushy because Jeremy hadn’t shown up to school. Michael had tried talking to him Sunday, but Jeremy claimed that he really was sick and not to worry about him. It was too late, Michael was already worrying. He couldn’t even fully enjoy his slushy because all he was thinking about was Jeremy. 

“Hey, Michael,” he heard Rich say, plopping down in the seat next to him. “You seen Jeremy anywhere? I was gonna ask if I could copy his calc homework.” 

Michael shook his head. “He’s been acting really weird ever since his birthday. He told me he’s just sick, but I’m not buying it.” 

Rich looked genuinely concerned, leaning in closer to Michael and turning his voice into a low whisper. “What exactly did you do after you were done on his birthday?”

“Well, we were about to take a nap, but my mom came home from work early so we had to get put our clothes back on and hide everything. She asked if we wanted pizza, then Jeremy said he wasn’t feeling well and he left.”

“So...he didn’t have any aftercare?”

“Aftercare?” Michael asked. 

“ _ Fuck,”  _ Rich swore, slamming a hand down on the table. “I  _ knew  _ I was forgetting to tell you something!”

“What? What happened to him? Did I do something wrong?” God, he knew he couldn’t be trusted to do this without fucking it up. The last thing he wanted to do was actually hurt Jeremy, and that was exactly what he had done. 

“It’s called subdrop,” Rich explained. “It’s like, during the scene or whatever, there’s so much adrenaline that the pain and the degradation doesn’t affect him so much. But when it ends, and the adrenaline goes away, if you’re not there comforting him, the pain and degradation can make him crash. That’s what happened.”

“Oh my  _ god,  _ I’m such an asshole,” Michael said, burying his had in his hands. 

“Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t know what you were doing. And subdrop is really common after doing it the first time, I should have told you. Just make sure you go over there after school and take care of him, okay?”

“What do I have to do?” Michael asked. He was willing to do  _ anything  _ to help Jeremy feel better again. 

“Well, if you were like, calling him names and stuff during the thing, tell him that he’s not actually those names. And just tell him you love him and be there for him,” Rich explained. “Jake doesn’t drop so often, but when he did before, he liked it when I took baths with him, so you could try that.” 

“Okay. Okay. Thanks so much, Rich.”

“In return for my generous help, can I have your answers to the calc homework?”

Michael slid over his page of work, more anxious than usual for the final bell to ring. 

-

Michael didn’t even bother stopping at his house first. He went straight over to Jeremy’s happy to see that his dad’s car wasn’t in the driveway. He raced upstairs to Jeremy’s room and found him lying in bed, but he wasn’t asleep. He was just staring at the ceiling and he barely acknowledged Michael’s presence in the room. “Jeremy, I’m so, so sorry,” Michael apologized, kneeling down on Jeremy’s side of the bed to stroke a hand through his hair. “I love you so much, baby, I don’t want you to hurt.” 

Jeremy was silent for a few moments, the he turned to look at Michael. “I’m fine,” he said, and his broken voice made Michael’s heart shatter. 

“No, no you’re not,” Michael said. A bath seemed like a good idea. “Hey, come here. Let’s go have a bath, alright?” He helped a reluctant Jeremy out of bed, guiding him to the bathroom with an arm around his waist. He warmed up the water and plugged the drain, letting the tub fill up while he stripped them both of their clothes. 

Jeremy was cold and shivering once his clothes were gone, and he wrapped his arms around his chest to warm himself up. Michael helped him climb in and they sat down in the water across from each other. Michael moved in closer, spreading his legs out around Jeremy’s waist. He grabbed a washcloth and poured on a drop of soap, starting to rub it over Jeremy’s bare shoulders. 

“You’re so beautiful, Jeremy, you don’t even know,” Michael said, dragging the washcloth down his arm. “My beautiful boy.”

He gently washed down his chest, around his neck. Jeremy slowly eased into the touch, relaxing against Michael’s comforting movements. “You’re not a slut or a whore, babe. You’re perfect. I wouldn’t change anything about you.” Michael reached his arm around to wash Jeremy’s back, tracing the curve of his spine. “You’re not filthy or pathetic, either. Those words mean nothing.” Michael cupped some of the warm water in his hands, using it to wash the soap off of his skin. 

“You mean everything to me, Jer. You’re gonna be okay I promise?”

Jeremy had been relatively unresponsive, but he finally gave a nod, and Michael smiled. He wrapped him in his arms, holding him tight against his chest. “Do you believe me, baby? Do you believe that you’re not any of those things I called you before?”

“I believe you,” Jeremy said, and Michael sighed with relief. “I love you, Michael. Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me Jer, I should have done this a while ago. I messed up. But you’re okay now.” 

“I’m okay,” Jeremy repeated, resting his head on Michael’s shoulder. 

“Happy birthday, Jer.”


End file.
